The top 25 college football programs of the past decade

ESPN, list-o-philes that they are, has compiled a list of the 25 greatest college football programs of the past decade. Sucks for Nebraska. All that Tommy Frazier joy goes unrewarded. Even the University of Illinois' trip to the Sugar Bowl - where they were dismantled - at the tip of the millenium couldn't get them into the first three quadrants. But we believe in the Zookster. He recruits like no coach in recent history at THE University of Illinois has, and he has Juice Williams - Juice! - running his offense.

So take a look at this list and let us know what you think. Living in Santa Monica, we're a bit closed off from the USC fervor that's already beginning in So Cal, but it won't be long until it swallows us, too. They're No. 1, by the way, but you already knew that.

The coolest thing we've seen in some time

We're not sure how long it took ESPN to put it together, but their Fantasy Football Hall of Fame is pretty fantastic. The site's load time is somewhat plodding, and it's headshot click formula can be frustrating when you end up bringing up Brandon Stokley's profile when you wanted Robbie Gould's, but other than that we have no complaints. Brilliant idea, solid execution, sounds like something anyone other than ESPN would have come up with. We just want to know which member of team Swollen Rexicles is going to be sworn in after this season.

Strange, but true facts about Sportscenter anchors

You've probably already seen the Sportscenter parody below, but thanks to Popjocks, here are a few tidbits about the show's anchors you might not have been privy to. Our favorite? That Neil Everett's last name is actually Morfitt. Since when has being nicknamed Little Miss Morfitt ever ruined a career?

We don't want to ruin the surprise for you or anything, but...

This is what happened at last night's ESPY Awards ceremony, held right here in our backyard. Hint: if you're a Colts or Chargers fan, it was a good time had by all.

Whatcha know about this, Scout's Inc.?

Normally, we stay away from ESPN chats (and back-to-back ESPN posts, quite frankly), but with the next month officially the NFL's dead period - even Peter King's not writing! - we're desperate for anything football-related. So, this morning we joined in the Sportsnation chat with Scout's Inc.'s Matt Williamson. Sadly, our question about the density of the fibers in Randy Moss's hamstrings went unanswered. But we did gather enough material to make a few observations.

Question #1 - Carl: VA: do you see clinton portis being an injury risk this year?

Matt's answer: For sure. I love him when healthy, but he has taken a pounding over his young career and isn't the biggest guy in the world. His explosivenss seems to be waning and like you said-he is now a major durability concern. Washington would be wise to give Betts 1/3 of the carries or so.

Our answer: Just a third of the carries? Betts had 1,100 yards in only nine starts last year! The Skins need to ship Portis to Atlanta for Warrick Dunn, sign Kurt Warner, and recreate the Greatest Show on Turf with Dunn playing the Faulk role. With Betts, Dunn, Moss, Randle-El and Lloyd we see no reason the Skins wouldn't average 30 a game. Maybe.

Question #2 - Mike (Boise): I'm rollin' with Nolan!!!! The Niners have to be at least 9-7 don't they? I mean, Frank Gore might get towards 2000 yards this year!!

Matt's answer: Hey, I love Gore. 2K is pretty steep, but I feel ya. Maybe 9-7. I said 8-8ish. I don't see 10 wins though.

Our answer: 2,000 yards? No way. Darrell Jackson and Antonio Bryant aren't enough to keep teams from stacking the box against the Niners, and Gore is no Barry Sanders. Remember, the NFC's number two seed last year had 10 wins. Ten! Even if San Fran only goes 9-7 they'll probably get a home playoff game.

Question #3 - Jeremy, Louisiana: Do you think the defensive additions the Saints made in the offseason improve their 10-6 record from a year ago and get them to the Super Bowl this year?

Matt's answer: No. I like the Saints and have all the respect in the world for Payton and Brees in particular, but I still worry about their overall D and think that the O can't play any better than it did last season. The WRs are very young and could fall back to earth a bit.

Our answer: This year, the Saints will be playing a first-place schedule and the only upgrade they made to their most glaring weakness was signing an ordinary Cover 2 corner (Jason David) to a contract worth four times his market value. We can see the Saints making the Super Bowl, if only because the team that knocked them out of the playoffs last year - the Bears - lost its best offensive weapon and still has Rex Grossman under center.

Question #4 - David [Farmington, Maine]: How do you think Randy Moss will play by brady's side, in 2007-2008?

Matt's answer: I love the minimal risk of trading for Moss for NE. I expect a very productive seasaon and he should be able to free up the running game, TEs and other WRs in the passing game. I don't think he will post lights out numbers, but his presence will make him productive. I like the move.

Our answer: Minimal risk? Talk to the Eagles about minimal risk. Everyone compares this move to the Patriots bringing in Corey Dillon. It's not the same. Moss has been a malcontent everywhere he's been, and catching 50 balls for 750 yards isn't going to change that.

Question #5 - Pete (Boston): What will Brandon Jacobs be this year? He was unstopable when I saw him carryring the ball last year. Hopefully he starts to take his role serious.

Matt's answer: I am not nearly as high on Jacobs as many other people are and I really worry about that O this season. Tiki's loss will hurt that O in many ways and the OL is extremely thin-bad combination. As for Jacobs, yes, he is unstopable at times, but he isn't real nifty and runs too high. He is a huge target for tacklers. I bet Droughns ends up getting more carries than many think at this point.

Our answer: He's 6-4, so high is the only way he can run. And when a target is 260 lbs., how many people can tackle that target when it's moving at 4.4 speed? Jacobs is a monster, plain and simple.

Question #6 - Crew (Ann Arbor): Wow no Kitna questions yet. What do you think of Kitna predicting over 10 wins for the Lions? I dont think that can happen but I can see more than 6 wins. What do you think?

Matt's answer: Yeah, he's dreaming with 10 wins. That division isnt real tough outside of Chicago and I really like what Marinelli has done to their roster since he arrived, but they still have some major weaknesses. 6 wins seems fair.

Our answer: We don't think the Bears blitz the division again this year. Win it, yes, but not by as much as everyone thinks. We say the Lions go 8-8. Crazy? Yes, yes we are.

Question #7 - Os (Jersey): Matt, you're the man for stepping up and taking my last question like that. But surely, Minny can't be the NFC's worst team, can they?

Matt's answer: What do all of you guys think? Who is the worst team in the NFC? Darkhorse contender for that dubious honor: ATL.

Our answer: Vick's poison and the Falcons are going to struggle, but they're not the NFC's worst team. That would be Tampa Bay. Or Arizona.

Question #8 - Christy: Charlotte, North Carolina: I am really high on Tony Romo future as a Top QB in the NFL. I'm also a huge Terrell Owens fan! No matter what team he's on. Despite all of that I'm not sure if Wade Pillips is the guy who will lead the Cowboys back to the Super Bowl. Help me out Matt. Thanks, Christy! :)

Matt's answer: Dallas is strong-very strong. I love their D this year and they will torment QBs. The OL should be much improved and Romo will also be better. They are a Super Bowl contender in the weak NFC.

Our answer: Tony Romo, Super Bowl QB. God help us all.

Question #9 - Kenton (Indianapolis): Matt, no Colts questions? Is it possible that the offense will be even better this year with the addition of Gonzalez in the slot? I think he's the sleeper pick for AFC R.O.Y.

Matt's answer: Agreed. Perfect fit.

Our answer: Wait, what is the Colts' third-string RB Kenton Keith doing asking questions in an ESPN chat? You're not going to overtake DeDe Dorsey that way, Kenton.

Question #10 - Chris Bob (NYC): Heard a rumor of McNabb to the Bears... Any truth to this?

Matt's answer: Can't see it at all. Philly is a contender.

Our answer: Not this one, again. Didn't we all learn from Jr. Griffey that playing for your hometown team isn't all it's cracked up to be?

Pssst...the ESPY nominations are out

We know you probably don't care about this (hell, we wouldn't care if not for the Colts leading the nominations!), but ESPN announced the nominations for the 2007 ESPYS this morning. The show airs July 15 from H-Wood's Kodak Theatre, just a few miles up the road from us. We're planning on tailgating in our #18 Manning jersey (we, sadly, also own a #10 Manning jersey) and rooting for the "award baron" LaDainian Tomlinson to be upset. But we won't be holding our breath, because that stuff never happens twice in a calendar year.

It's Mike and Mike...and Mike...and Mike...

Look, we're not going to lie, we listen to ESPN radio sometimes. Not for large segments of time, and we usually try and catch it in condensed podcast form, but we listen. And, except for the guy who's on after Dan Patrick whose name we don't know, Mike and Mike in the Morning is by far the least entertaining radio show on the WWL's airwaves. Colin Cowherd can be an ass, Dan Patrick defines pomposity, and listening to whoever the guy is after Patrick is like watching the JV play after the varsity's left the court. Yet, none of them match the mediocrity of Mike and Mike. It's a four-hour barrage of softball questions, Greenberg's intellectual barbs, and Golic's barbaric "man up!" schtick. We can't stand it.

But we'd better get used to it, because when we opened USA Today's sports homepage this morning - just to see how Ben Sheets threw last night - we dropped our scone when we saw this:

ESPN is set to unveil a second Monday Night Football announcing team today: play-by-play Mike Greenberg, analysts Mike Golic and Mike Ditka and sideline reporter Bonnie Bernstein. The new team will make their MNF debut during the Arizona Cardinals vs. San Francisco 49ers game on Sept. 10, says ESPN's Norby Williamson, executive vice president for remote and studio production. The game will be the nightcap in a national NFL doubleheader on ESPN and will kick off at 10:15 p.m. ET.

ESPN, killing the watchability of Monday Night Football, one agonizing step at a time.

Theismann's new job? Slurp the Patriots, naturally

We promise this is our last anti-ESPN's love affair with the Patriots post for awhile, but the story - or analysis, if you will - we saw on their site this morning was just too easy. In the latest installment of their "Ultimate" series, ESPN attacks the depth of each division. Up first? Why the AFC East. We figured they try and throw everyone off by going with one of those obscure divisions like the AFC North, since it's, ya know, the most competitive division in the game.

But this is Theismann, who thinks the AFC South - won four straight years by the reigning Super Bowl Champions - is the best division in football, so let's start with the AFC East. The questions are as follows:

Who has the best offense in the AFC East?

Without question, this category goes to New England. The Pats have the best quarterback in football, and now Tom Brady has one of the most dynamic receiving corps in football. Add that to a good, young running back and a solid, veteran offensive line and you have a great offense. There might not be an offense in the league that will be as exciting and efficient as this one.

Oh, Theismann. We think the Colts, Saints, and Bengals might beg to differ. And that Super Bowl MVP guy might be a little pissed, too.

Who has the best defense in the AFC East?

The Patriots get the nod here, too. They were very good before the addition of linebacker Adalius Thomas, but now they are devastatingly good. They have Pro Bowl-caliber players at every level of the defense and have the ability to switch seamlessly from a 3-4 to a 4-3 and back. Bill Belichick is at his best when he has the option to switch formations like that without any drop-off in performance.

Adalius Thomas is a great player, don't get us wrong, but his addition alone isn't going to change the fact it was this aging defense that allowed 32 second-half points to the Colts in last year's AFC Championship Game.

Who is the best team in the AFC East?

The Patriots have won three of the last six Super Bowls and still attacked this off-season as though they were trying to end a Cubs-like title drought. This is not only the best team in the division but the best team in football.

Theismann, how do you remain so objective? Look, we're not trying to run this issue into the ground - too much - but we feel that ESPN is unintentionally setting the Pats up for a fall this season. We're talking Yankee-style breakdown here, folks. And yes, the dissolution will be televised.

The Ultimate Depth Chart [ESPN]

But ESPN says I'm good!

The latest concoction to come out of bucolic Bristol (as their writers find so amusing to write) is the ESPN MLB Player Rater, designed to tell us just who are the best 150 players in the Bigs. Or at least for this year. Otherwise, we don't think Tom Gorzelanny - even if he has been a strong fantasy asset - would rank ahead of Derrek Lee, John Smoltz and Jason Bay. And, without further suspense, the best player in MLB is...

Magglio Ordonez. And it's not even close, apparently. Using the complex formula, which is more or less an aggregate of current statistical rankings, Ordonez's rating is 87.3. To put that in perspective, A-Rod is second with a rating of 78.2. Vlad Guerror is third at 76.3, followed by Miguel Cabrera (73.7), Jake Peavy (71.4), David Ortiz (70.9), Dan Haren (68.8), Gary Sheffield (65.4), Chase Utley and Grady Sizemore (63.3).

We're no fans of A-Rod, mind you, but is Magglio Ordonez really that much better than the she-male fan? Doubtful. Oh sure, the statistics might bear out this argument, but honestly, any list that has Al Reyes ranked ahead of Albert Pujols is fucking nutbar. Still, ESPN takes their time and hard work seriously, and has written an entire column explaining the logic behind their selections.

Thanks, guys. Now, move along, you have an NBA Finals to save.

ESPN MLB Player Rater [ESPN]

I'm okay, she's okay...but we're still getting a divorce

We know how most sports blogs out there in the ether of the Net feel about ESPN radio personality Colin Cowherd. The nickname Shrutebag usually doesn't mean warm and fuzzy things. But we'll go ahead and admit it, we're a fan. We think he's insensitive, takes things too far, and has a general hatred for sports bloggers that shines through spectacularly. And we still like him. Why? He speaks his mind, doesn't seem to be in ESPN's back pocket entirely, and refuses to acknowledge the NHL's existence. He also openly admits how unwatchable the NBA has become in the post-Jordan era.

Yesterday, though, Cowherd shared a moment of honesty and sadness that, well, it humbled us a bit. We sometimes tend to forget that ESPN employees and other sports personalities are human, just like the rest of us. Cowherd announced on air that he and his wife of 11 years, Kim, are divorcing. This pains us because, from what we gathered in the 18 months we've been listening to his show, Cowherd's marriage was one of the good ones. He joked about her, he talked about how great she was, and it didn't take a giant leap of faith to assume they were on good terms. They weren't.

It's also hard to hear because he has two children, both of whom are under five years of age. We know how hard divorce can be on kids (we lived it through it), but we can't fathom how much it sucks to have it play out in the public eye. That, and it's difficult to imagine Cowherd's wife sticking around in Bristol just to collect alimony. Cowherd is likely a long-distance-dad in waiting, and there's no joy in that for anybody. We feel for you Colin. But we hope this doesn't mean you'll stop hanging up on Penn State fans.

Shrutebag's sincere apology [The Big Lead]

This hurts us more than it hurts you, Colin [Deadspin]

If I say you're no good, it means you're no good!

Over at ESPN.com, Jayson Stark has a nice little self-aggrandizing column where he lists his picks for the 10 most overrated MLB players - while plugging his book about the same subject, of course. It's not an uninformed list, by any means, and we're thrilled to find zero Cardinals (current, anyway) on it. Yet Stark doesn't appear to have done much research or homework to arrive at his conclusions. The whole list reads like a giant case of "No shit." Anyway, here are his picks:

1. Barry Zito
- Couldn't agree more. He thought moving to the NL would turn him into Clemens (Astros version). Wrong.
2. J.D. Drew
- We root for the Cardinals, thus we are all too aware of the unfulfilled potential that lies here.
3. Andruw Jones
- He's on our fantasy team - and he's killing us. He'll still end up with 40 homers, but he'll strike out 150+ times doing it.
4. Juan Pierre
- He steals bases. Yippy skippy. Fuck him.
5. Bobby Abreu
- Remember when he had power? Stop living in the past.
6. Brian Giles
- He plays in Petco Park, cut him some slack.
7. Alfonso Soriano
- Oh yeah, the Cubs definitely got swindled on this one. He's good, but not that good.
8. Richie Sexon
- We didn't realize he made so much damn money. By all rights, he should be top-three on this list - easy.
9. Bob Wickman
- Rafael Soriano is a far better option and the Braves are holding him back because of this fat ass. Boggling.
10. Jeff Suppan
- We love Soops. He helped us win a World Series. He's a perfect NL number three starter. We never claimed he was anything more. If the Brewers weren't paying him so much he wouldn't be anywhere near this list. But they are, so he is.