This weekend in sports

Look, we're going to level with you: It's approaching 90 degrees today in Santa Monica, we're getting off early in a couple hours, and all the NBA Draft talk and analysis has sapped most of what mental energy we had left. But we're going to leave you with what you can check out on the tube this weekend if you're not, you know, going to spend it getting sunburnt in between viewings of the new Die Hard and Michael Moore doc. NFL Europe is done for, both literally and figuratively, so at least that frees up some time, right?

Tonight

Mets at Phillies (7:05 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- The second half of a day/night doubleheader. The Mets are absolutely mowing them down in the first game, so you might want to bet the Phillies in the nightcap.

America's Game (9 P.M. ET, NFLN)
- The 1984 49ers are under the microscope here, with Gene Hackman providing the vocals. This is the team that kicked the shit out of Dan Marino, if you were wondering.

Padres at Dodgers (10:40 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- One a game separates these NL West titans, but tonight one of the NL's best pitchers (Young) faces one of the NL's worst (Kuo).

Saturday

ESPN Classic Ringside (2 P.M. ET, ESPN Classic)
- A dissection of Mike Tyson's early fights, when he would've killed anyone.

Brewers at Cubs (3:55 P.M. ET, FOX)
- Ben Sheets faces the NL Central's second-place team at Wrigley. We smell either a shutout or a knockout.

Nationals at Pirates (7:05 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- Watch this with ten of your friends - you'll double the audience.

Sunday

NFL Replay (1 P.M. ET, NFLN)
- A condensced re-airing of the Bengals/Chargers week 16 matchup where they tried to see who could get to 50 first.

Cardinals at Reds (1:15 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- It's our Cardinals' turn to pummel Homer Bailey! We love him.

Twins at Tigers (8:05 P.M. ET, ESPN)
- The Twins need to make their run soon, because the Tigers and the Indians are starting to run away with this thing.

This weekend in sports

It's a summer Friday, so we're out of here in a few minutes and we don't want to leave you without this weekend's must-see TV. In short, there isn't any. No U.S. Open, no Indy 500, no Clemens. Make due. Get some sun. Read a book. Watch the World Bowl, if you must.

Tonight

A's at Mets (7:05 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- It's a Deadspin Pants Party at Shea Stadium tonight, fuckers. We won't be there, but keep an eye on the stands, friends.

Phillies at Cardinals (8:10 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- The first Cardinal game in the Mike Maroth era for the Deadbirds. Anticipation...rising...

Red Sox at Padres (10: 05 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- Dice-K vs. Maddux. Imagine if this match-up was taking place six years ago.

Saturday

World Bowl XV (Noon ET, NFL)
- The Frankfurt Galaxy and Hamburg Sea Devils battle in what may be the last World Bowl ever played. Tear.

Cubs at White Sox (1:05 P.M. ET, WGN)
- Honestly, the absence of Michael Barret takes a lot of the fun out of this one.

Tigers at Braves (3:55 P.M. ET, FOX)
- Justin Verlander strikes Andruw Jones out multiple times. We're not saying it's going to happen, just that it might.

Sunday

Twins at Marlins (1:05 P.M. ET, MLB.TV
- Johan Santana. Dontrelle Willis. Each have 7-6 records, so which would you rather have?

Indians at Nationals (1:35 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- It's matchups like this that keep us wanting more - not less - interleague play.

Tigers at Braves (8:05 P.M. ET, ESPN)- Because no weekend is complete without a lil' Joe Morgan blathering.

This weekend in sports

With the NBA Finals mercifully over, the airwaves are clear for MLB to rule all. Until the NFL preseason begins. It's about seven-or-so weeks off, by the way. Mark your calendars. Now prepare for Northeast baseball.

Tonight

Mets at Yankees (7:05 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- The Rocket once again takes the mound for the Evil Empire, except this time he faces a powerful Mets lineup looking to rebound from a prolonged slump.

Brewers at Twins (8:10 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- The Brew Crew's Claudio Vargas tries to hold onto his spot in the starting rotation with Yovani Gallardo waiting in the wings.

Cardinals at A's (10:05 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- The Cards' reward for last night's Kip Well's debacle? Dan Haren. Oh fuck.

Saturday

Berlin Thunder at Amsterdam Admirals (1 P.M. ET, NFLN)
- They're playing in Amsterdam, of course we're going to mention that.

Padres at Cubs (1:05 P.M. ET, WGN)
- Two of the NL's best arms - Chris Young and Carlos Zambrano - battle the Wrigley wind.

Angels at Dodgers (3:55 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- The Freeway Series, take two. If you leave your house by 9 A.M., you might make it there for the first pitch.

Sunday

Colts at Jags (1 P.M. ET, NFLN)
- If you want to see the worst moment of the Super Bowl Champions' 2006 season, by all means, tune in.

Tigers at Phillies (1:35 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- What will be Justin Verlander's encore to one of the most impressive outings of the millenium? We're guessing 7 IP, two earned runs, eight K's.

Mets at Yankees (8:05 P.M. ET, ESPN)
- El Duque vs. Wang in the matchup that may or may not salvage our head-to-head fantasy league matchup.

This weekend in sports

We need to digress from sports action for just a second. We just saw the trailer for the December release I Am Legend, and it - along with American Gangster - is making us want to shove all these summer movies down the shitter. We can't wait for the fall/winter: NFL Sundays, decent movies, Christmas bonuses... but anyway -

Tonight

Pirates at Yankees (7:05 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- Tom Gorzelanny, he of the textbook left-handed control, faces A-Rod and a high-powered Yankee lineup hellbent on destroying our fantasy baseball team.

Indians at Reds (7:10 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- Homer Bailey, meet major league baseball. Your first opponent: Grady Sizemore. Uh-oh.

A's at Giants (10:10 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- This Battle of the Bay features two pitchers - Chad Gaudin and Tim Lincecum - who will come back to earth soon. Here's hoping it's tonight. We love us some self-destruction.

Saturday

Frankfurt Galaxy at Hamburg Sea Devils (12 P.M. ET, NFLN)
- One of these teams could secure a World Bowl berth. Whatever that means.

Pirates at Yankees (1:05 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- Some guy named Clemens is pitching. His groin may or may not fall off.

Mets at Tigers (3:55 P.M. ET, FOX)
- It's the World Series that could've been.


Sunday

Mariners at Padres (4:05 P.M. ET, MLB.TV)
- King Felix vs. Chris Young in cavernous Petco. The home runs will be a-flyin'.

Cubs at Braves (8:05 P.M. ET, ESPN)
- Perhaps ESPN will refrain from interrupting this for its NBA Finals pregame coverage.

Cavs at Spurs, Game 2 (9 P.M. ET, ABC)
- Those NBA scheduling geniuses have the legend of then-and-now (Duncan) vs. the legend of the future (LeBron) going nuts to nuts with the final episode of The Sopranos. We could DVR Tony and Co. and wait until after the game to watch it, but...fuck that, right? This game's only worth watching if it's tight in the second half anyway, and we'll need something brainless to watch while we recover from the emotional beheading that comes with one of the top five television shows of all time exiting the landscape.