We're not the only ones who hate you, Norv

These gentlemen do as well. And they're much funnier than us.

Hey Norv, you f*&*ing suck!

Last night, the New England Patriots throttled the San Diego Chargers, 38-14. It was one of the worst displays of coaching we've ever seen. The Chargers were beaten from the time the clock started? Why? Their coach is Norv Turner. The Patriots came out in a spread offense. The Chargers stayed in their base defense. The result? Tom Brady completes six out of seven passes and the Pats move down the field at will. Didn't see that coming.

Randy Moss? We know how to defend him. Give him a large cushion and no safety spy. That way he can work the underneath routes at will and when he does decide he'll go deep the over the top help will be late. Brilliant. Honestly, we didn't think the Chargers were going to win last night's game. But they had the talent to make it close. Very close. What happened was a shameful display of coaching. And why didn't they bring in Michael Turner earlier? It was obvious LT was having no success running between the tackles. Why not give them several doses of Turner steamroll, then a quick shot of Tomlinson corner speed? That makes too much sense, we suppose.

Of course, none of the "experts" are mentioning any of this. The Pats simply just must be unstoppable.

Len P says: "Don't make the Pats angry, they'll f*&k you in the ass!"

Peter King says: "Just let me take off my Brady jersey, I'll be right with you."

Michael Silver says: "Let's do a shot of Patron for Bill Belichick, he's a faultless genius."

There's more stuff out there if you feel like seeking it out and reading it, but we don't recommend it. The Week in Review still to come.

Bob Sanders will destroy all comers...

Lots to like - and lots to dislike - about the Colts peformance yesterday against the formerly lowly Tennessee Titans. It was definitely not a textbook display on either side of the ball, but the point is the Colts held on and won. Last year, we're not sure the Colts pull that game out. For those with short memories, that's the Colts first road win against and AFC South opponent since the 2005 season. Yeah, yesterday's win was big. Here are 10 things we took from it:

1.)Bob Sanders just may win Defensive Player of the Year.
- Surely, Jeff Fischer knew the Colts were going to employ Sanders as a fourth linebacker to stop a solid Titans ground game - especially after they rang up 280+ yards on a normally stingy Jacksonville run "D". If he did, he was powerless to stop Sanders. 11 tackles, three QB pressures and - get this - 2.5 sacks. No one will ever replace Peyton as our favorite Colt, but Sanders gains on him every game he suits up for.

2.)The Colts red zone offense shat the bed.
- Six trips DEEP into Titans territory, and the Colts only turned it into 22 points. They were several opportunities for the Colts offense to break this game open - and they never took advantage. We'll chock it up to early-season kinks, but we're not happy.

3.)The Colts NEED Rob Morris and Freddy Keiaho.
- Playing without two starting linebackers is never easy, but when you're playing on the road against a team known for running it, running it and running it, you're setting yourself up for a fall. But the Colts defense - namely Sanders - made up for the two weak links (Hagler and Boiman)who had trouble all game following the flow of the Titans delayed draw. We support Dungy for holding them out; don't call us unsympathetic for wanting them back in uniform by week four.

4.)Kelvin Hayden can't fall for double moves like that.
- He must see those every day in practice. He has to. Marvin Harrison is the king of the double move. He'll be seeing a lot more of those as the season progresses, and they'll be run by receivers who we've actually heard of.

5.)Joseph Addai's vision continues to improve.
- He barely average four yards per carry, but Addai turned several - 5, 6, maybe more - runs that could have gone for no gain into two-and-three yard lunges. Lost in the scope of the game, maybe, is how exemplary a cutback runner Addai has become.

6.)Our special teams are putrid - again.
- One blocked extra point, one missed chipped shot FG and one momentum-killing long kickoff return. The sad thing is, with these guys, that's a C+ week. Must. See. Improvement.

7.)Lendale White is still fat.
- He got his 60 yards or whatever it was, but he was gassed at the end. Don't bet on him being a second-half horse as the season rolls on.

8.)The Colts won a divisional road game.
- Don't overlook the importance of this. A so-so effort against a good team in a hostile environment resulted in a win. That's gratifying.

9.)Tony Ugoh isn't there yet as a pass blocker.
- Manning was hit more often - and harder - in this game than any we can remember since the Baltimore playoff game. Ugoh is a terrific run blocker, but very average when dealing with a straight-ahead bull rush. Kyle Van-"Don't feel like spelling it out" handed Ugoh his lunch several times Sunday. That can't happen.

10.)Sometimes, it's better to be lucky than good.
- The Colts didn't get all the breaks (illegal contact, anyone?), but they got them when they counted (dropped passes, mental miscues). That helps. It's not reliable, but we'll take it.

Sometimes, life just gives you a moment

And for Colts fans, this a good one. After listening to all the Patriots offseason hyperbole, the trumpeting of their defeat of the Jets and the "Tom Brady as God" Sports Illustrated cover, karma has smiled on the Colts. We take no joy in the misery of other teams, especially considering the Patriots have been the cause of so much of our misery, but we're going to enjoy this. Today, the Patriots took it on the chin. Sunday night - we can only hope - will bring more of the same.

Now everyone out there, try not to laugh too much. Remember: pride comes before the fall.

The Iron Man trailer is finally here!

Okay, we're kidding, this isn't the real Iron Man trailer. But this is. Enjoy.

Are the Patriots really cheaters?

All signs point to yes, but we just know this is going to devolved into Pats fans vs. Colts fans bitchfest soon rather than later. We hate that. We think the Pats should have to forfeit a couple draft picks, but anything other than that seems a bit steep for something that probably didn't help them out THAT much. Now, if the radio tapping aspect of this story is true, that's another matter entirely. But we're withholding our judgement until all the details surface, which should be in the next 48 hours. It'd be a shame if this casts a shadow over this season's Colts-Pats matchup, though. We want to beat them fair and square once again, proving which team is the NFL's best.

You have to be kidding us, Jack...

Jack Del Rio, king of the wood chopping and trying to eek out one more season at the helm of the Jaguars, is in dire straits. So dire, that he thinks this asshat - famous for "liquored up" interviews and shanked kicks - can cure what ails a franchise that can't even sell out its home games. One word Jack: NO.

We're not 16 anymore

Britney Spears, sex goddess of our youth, has gone from off the rails to crashing into the train station. Does it make you feel as old as it makes us? At any rate, here's the famous VMA meltdown video that's stale after less than 48 hours (watch it quick, it'll be gone soon).

We're praying for you, Kevin Everett

You've no doubt heard by now about Buffalo tight end Kevin Everett's severe spinal injury suffered in the Bills' game against the Broncos. Please keep him in your thoughts. We know we are.

The best team in the NFL is...

The Indianapolis Colts...barely. Hate to say it, but the Patriots were damn impressive over the weekend, and we never thought the Chargers had it in them to win a - excuse the phrase - dogfight. We'll be doing a full breakdown of the Colts-Titans game this (we were, how you say, on vacation all last week) week, along with following up on all the NFL subplots that have developed since the close of week one. As of right now, here are our top 10 power rankings.

1.) Indianapolis Colts
- They really couldn't have been more impressive.

2.) New England Patriots
- The Jets defense looks awful, but a shredding is a shredding.

3.) San Diego Chargers
- The Whales Vaginas found a way to win against a top-five defense. It's a new year, new team.

4.) Chicago Bears
- Rex wasn't as bad as he could've been, and that defense is still that defense. Losing Brown for the year is a huge blow, though.

5.) Cincinnati Bengals
- Too high? You might be right, but they downed the Ravens.

6.) Pittsburgh Steelers
- Big Ben: 12 completions, four touchdowns - against the Browns. Temper expectations.

7.) Seattle Seahawks
- They beat the Bucs, but Alexander looked like the Alexander of '05. Always a good thing.

8.) Baltimore Ravens
- If McNair's groin and Lewis' triceps are serious, the Ravens playoffs hopes take a serious dip.

9.) Carolina Panthers
- They swatted the Rams in St. Louis, which is worth mentioning, but not in great detail.

10.) New Orleans Saints
- We know, "It's just one loss!" But there were a lot of things that didn't go right in that one game. A LOT.

NFL Season Predictions

The NFL season starts tomorrow and we couldn't be more excited. Naturally, we think the Colts are going to defeat the Saints to kick things off (we'll say 31-16). We're taking the day off work just to make sure we're prepared to take it all in. That Super Bowl banner is sure going to look nice. Alright, enough with the bragging, here are our NFL regular season predictions.

AFC East

1.) New England Patriots (12-4)
- All those offseason acquisitions won't make them nearly the juggernaut people are predicting.

2.) New York Jets (8-8)
- Last year's cupcake schedule is gone, and this team has too many holes to pull off another double-digit campaign.

3.) Buffalo Bills (7-9)
- A team on the rise, but it's a slow rise.

4.) Miami Dolphins (6-10)
- This time, please don't take a kick returner with that top-10 pick.

AFC North

1.) Cincinnati Bengals (11-5)
- Palmer's healthy and this defense is going to force turnovers like the 2005 version, not last year's sad sack group.

2.) Baltimore Ravens (10-6)
- There's a reason only the Patriots and Colts win division titles consistently. First-place schedules aren't easy.

3.) Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6)
- Tomlin makes his presence felt in his first year.

4.) Cleveland Browns (4-12)
- Brady Quinn, welcome to the rest of your career.

AFC South

1.) Indianapolis Colts (13-3)
- We're homers and proud of it. But wait until you see this defense.

2.) Jacksonville Jaguars (9-7)
- Garrard. David Garrard. Learn it, love it.

3.) Tennessee Titans (7-9)
- Vince Young can only take a weaponless team so far.

4.) Houston Texans (6-10)
- Matt Schaub, welcome to the rest of your career.

AFC West

1.) San Diego Chargers (12-4)
- Week two showdown with Patriots is crucial for homefield.

2.) Denver Broncos (11-5)
- The best secondary in the NFL? Maybe.

3.) Kansas City Chiefs (6-10)
- It's Brodie time by week five.

4.) Oakland Raiders (5-11)
- Hey, they're more than doubling their win total, right?

AFC Playoffs

Wild Card Round
Bengals over Broncos
Patriots over Ravens

Divisional Round
Colts over Bengals
Chargers over Patriots

AFC Championship Game
Colts over Chargers


NFC East

1.) Dallas Cowboys (12-4)
- Romo goes to the Pro Bowl - again. Yeah, we hate it, too.

2.) Philadelphia Eagles (11-5)
- McNabb can start polishing that Comeback Player of the Year anytime now.

3.) Washington Redskins (7-9)
- All that money, all this failure.

4.) New York Giants (6-10)
- Eli will be great, but the defense will implode.

NFC North

1.) Chicago Bears (11-5)
- Stuck at 7-5, they go to Griese and reel off four straight to end the season.

2.) Green Bay Packers (9-7)
- Farve's reward for all that hard work? A first-round playoff exit. Could be worse.

3.) Minnesota Vikings (7-9)
- Purple Jesus wins Rookie of the Year, but the team still mostly sucks.

4.) Detroit Lions (5-11)
- Matt Millen, chopping time has finally come.

NFC South

1.) New Orleans Saints (11-5)
- They'll start the season 0-1, but then the schedule gets nice and managable.

2.) Carolina Panthers (7-9)
- Peppers wants Freeney money. He'll earn it this season, but it won't matter.

3.) Atlanta Falcons (7-9)
- Hey, seven wins should get Petrino Coach of the Year.

4.) Tampa Bay Bucs (5-11)
- Gruden's glow is finally gone. Hallelujah.

NFC West

1.) Seattle Seahawks (12-4)
- Shaun Alexander has something to prove and he's in the right division to do it.

2.) St. Louis Rams (8-8)
- Holt blows out his knee in week three and S-Jax faces eight-man fronts the rest of the way.

3.) San Francisco 49ers (7-9)
- That sleeper tag was fun while it lasted, wasn't it?

4.) Arizona Cardinals (6-10)
- Sometimes, it's just not your century.

NFC Playoffs

Wild Card Round
Bears over Broncos
Eagles over Saints

Divisional Round
Seahawks over Bears
Cowboys over Eagles

NFC Championship Game
Seahawks over Cowboys

Super Bowl XLII
Colts over Seahawks
- In the game everyone thought we'd be seeing two years ago, the Colts make up for lost time with a 42-17 drubbing that cements Manning's legacy as the greatest QB of his - or any- generation.