Stephen King and the top 25 rock songs of all time

If you think the man who wrote and directed Maximum Overdrive has earned the right to rank the top 25 rock songs of all time, then you might be interested in this. If you're not sure how you feel about Stephen King, you might be interested in this. And if you just plain hate the man, perhaps this is more your speed.

Idea we wish we'd thought of...

Cracked.com has a list out today of the top 10 moments from the first season of 30 Rock, complete with video clips. It's a brilliant idea, and while we don't agree with all their choices, they get No. 1 absolutely correct. Pee-Wee Herman...inside a puppet. That sentence pretty much sells itself, doesn't it?

Best sports story of the last 25 years?

USA Today came out with a list today that made us - as Cardinal fans - crawl under our desk and into the fetal position. Yes, we thought the Rex Sox coming back from 3-0 to eliminate the Evil Empire was a great story. We could even stomach it when they swept our beloved Cards in the World Series (last year's victory has gone a long way toward closing that gaping wound). But is it the really the top sports story of the past 25 years?

No f'n way, we say. Give us the '98 Home Run Chase, Magic announcing he had HIV, even Tonya Harding's goons kneecapping Kerrigan - but not the Bo Sox. Sure, a bunch of Boston homers made a bunch of money writing books, making movies, and recruiting hordes of new recruits to the Red Sox nation. Big deal. Lest we all forget, the White Sox had nearly as long a championship drought as their brothers in stockings, but because they live in the shadow of an even more illustrious loser their 2005 World Series win didn't even make the list.

What beat it out? The global takeover of ESPN. Figures.

The best lines of all time

Seeing that The Big Lead is doing a list of the best sports movies of all time today, we thought we'd throw out our list of the best lines of all time, movie and otherwise.

1.) "Love goes toward love like schoolboys from their books, but love from love, toward school with heavy looks."
Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare
Translation: School sucks, but you know what? I am Shakespeare, and I sure don't.

2.) "I'll never let go, Jack."
Titanic
Translation: Ha ha, hope you like the bottom of the ocean. By the way, thanks for the necklace.

3.) "Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep ... in a giant blender."
The Simpsons
Translation: I like stories.

4.) "God only knows what I'd be without you."
"God Only Knows," The Beach Boys
Translation: An atheist, that's what I'd be.

5. "Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole."
Garden State
Translation: Fuck your mother.

6.) Take nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. There's no better rule."
Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
Translation: Barry Bonds' defense.

7.) "I was in the pool!"
Seinfeld
Translation: Shrinkage - the Achilles heel of men everywhere.

8.) "The answer is blowin' in the wind."
"Blowin in the Wind," Bob Dylan
Translation: You know what else is blowin' in the wind? AIDS, Forrest, AIDS.

9.) "Jump into my nightmare, the water's warm."
Jerry Maguire
Translation: Katie Holmes should've seen this one coming.

10.) "They send you here for life, and that's exactly what they take."
The Shawshank Redemption
Translation: Oops, I'm sorry, that's your asshole.

11.) "Good golly, I'm inspired. I'm going to put on a baseball cap."
Frasier
Translation: The rally cry of Ivy Leaguers everywhere.

12.) "I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls."
Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
Translation: Love hits you in the face when you least expect it. Kind of like a drunken frat guy.


13.) "And you give yourself away."
With or Without You, U2
Translation: The portly girl's Friday Night anthem.

13.) "Rosebud."
Citizen Kane
Translation: F'n sleds.


14.) "That's it. I'm gonna die in gym class."
Freaks and Geeks
Translation: In 15 years I will be rich, and you will be an overweight alcoholic clinging to high school glory, so I can handle a wedgie, bitch.


15.) "I wanna get hurt."
Say Anything
Translation: So what if I'm a glutton for punishment. I don't see you having sex with Ione Skye.