Don't fret, Glenn Close scares the shit out of us, too...

Sports
Eagles fans also scare us. A lot. [Deadspin]
Darren McFadden, becoming a superstar in a hurry. [Losers with Socks]
At least the Dolphins have injury issues, so there's that. [Phin Insider]
ESPN, you can go ahead and stop with the NOW. [Kentucky.com]

Movies
Which directors out there are older than dirt? [Movie City Indie]
Brett Ratner and gay sex. Yep, you read it right. [The Advocate]
Women in films, 80 years of it. Holy crap. [Miraulam]
E! gets to the bottom of this Eddie Murphy daddy business. [E! News]

TV
Jack Bauer is now fighting the sun. Can he win? [WA Post]
From reality star to homeless, all in a couple years. Ouch. [NY Mag]
Go ahead and download the new Weeds episodes, they want you to. [Ad Age]
GLAAD tells Fox to stick it. Where, we don't know. [Variety]