...that Andruw Jones has one hit in his last 25 - 25! - at bats. Not good in a contract year buddy, not good. And we're especially broken up about it because the former teen dream is dragging our fantasy team's collective batting average down like Lindsay Lohan in Bobby. We're thinking of trading him straight up for Tim Lincecum. After all, it's a keeper league...
Oh, and bonus points if you get who we're parodying with this particular style of post.
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